what is it about people that makes the letters coming out of my mouth trip and tumble. is it their masculinity, femininity, androgyny. is it the way they carry themselves or the way they hold your gaze, as if the longer they stare, the more they peer into your soul. time seems to stand still but in reality it is just hammering away at you to keep your pace up. so when someone says it’s okay slow down take your time my mind is trying to find a hundred ways to say the same phrase while my mouth, flustered, tries to gather the fallen letters and produce, somewhat, the original words. and when it does, sighing a “i did it” relief, they have the audacity to say i’m sorry i wasn’t paying attention what did you say. SIGH.
people say that laughter is the best medicine but
why does it hurt so when you use it to push all our problems away
- Planner, journal, writing in general. There have been periods of time where I’ve gone without writing and let me tell you, it was miserable. I express my thoughts out loud through writing and not being able to express them made me feel like like a pressure cooker just waiting to explode.
- My watch. Whenever I go out, I have to be wearing one on my left hand. I feel empty and miserable without it.
- And of course, my phone/iPad. They have everything I need to keep in contact with the world.
And…..ummm… that’s pretty much it when it comes to material things :3 I’ll let you know if I think of anything else.
Currently my dream job is to be a teacher. It’s to have my own classrooms with my own students. It’s to be busy with teaching, projects, and whatnot 😏😏.
- Be a full-fledged teacher
- Move to a warmer state like Florida or California… or maybe even Texas… nah, too hot
- Start a family
Sheesh! It’s more of just wake up, eat breakfast (most of the time), and then go about my work. Nothing special 😜😜.
A challenge I’ve overcome is my nervousness. Well… I haven’t totally overcome it. It’s more like an ongoing process. In truth, I’m overcoming it every day, more or less; some days better than others. I guess in a sense, you could say that I’ve gotten better at it in terms of controlling it. It was worse when I was a child. I wasn’t born with it. It developed after I became a victim of bullying in 2nd grade.
I wouldn’t say I was talkative as a child, but I wasnt afraid of speaking either. But after my stuttering developed, I was afraid to even open my mouth. My stuttering has come and gone. In situations where I felt comfortable, no one would be able to tell that I even had a stutter. When I talk with my brothers, I speak normally, no stuttering in sight. However, when I’m in situations I’m not comfortable with such as meeting new people, presentations 😢, phone calls 😢😢 (even though I’m afraid of talking to people, I would still rather talk in person rather than talk to someone over the phone), etc. It’s hard but hey!, it’s life. Yes, I get angtsy at times because I’m nervous. Yes, I might want to throw in the towel every now and then. And yes!, sometimes I might have to actually throw in the towel and admit defeat. But I won’t let that stop me from doing what I love the most. Teaching!
I used to think that the moon followed me wherever I went. Every time I would get in the car, I would watch the moon making its way through the sky, following me ❤ ❤
Photo: Super Blue Blood Moon, January 2018
Photo Credit: Tasneem Mahrusha
The heat is constantly running yet the house is freezing cold. The house sways and creaks to the wind’s battering.
says my 3-year-old when I ask him to say thank you
He sounds like a Pokémon ❤ ❤